This post has been in the making for a long time, mostly because I have been thinking about wether I should share these very personal things or not. In the end I decided that I want to keep my blog honest and authentic and fill you in a little bit on my last year. It has not been an easy year. Actually the opposite of easy. Many, many things went wrong but what affected me and my creativity most was a yearlong infertility treatment. Due to Frank's cancer history we have to go the IVF- way, so I was on a hormone roller coaster for most of the year. I had been so very sure that it would work as easily as it has worked before and that by now I would be writing about the big news or maybe not be writing at all, since I would be in baby-mode….. But not so this time. To spare you most details, it just didn't want to work…..
I stopped the treatment at the end of last year and am readjusting to our old/new life. I know that these things take time but I just didn't want to go through more hormone treatments anymore, which would only have gotten more aggressive after all . After the last "failed" try I just felt so exhausted and wanted to be able to refocus my energy on the beautiful life we already have.
I guess the reason I am putting this out here is that throughout the year I heard many stories from wonderful women who have gone through similar tough times. Without hearing their stories this year would have been much much worse. I want to thank all of them for being brave and sharing their sad moments with me, too. To all my friends: I am grateful to have you in my life.
My yoga teacher Jenn Harvey taught a beautiful class after Thanksgiving. One sentence that stuck with me for a long time was "that it was ok to let go of what is no longer serving because its gift will remain". I have been wondering what the gift of this hard year was. While reminiscing and looking back I noticed that for everything dark and difficult there was also something light and beautiful that carried us through. I did not report much over here but behind the scenes I guess I did make some art and love happen. I will share this in pictures, what other way is there anyway?
In retrospect, there was a lot of collaboration going on with other women and I hope this will only grow in 2014. I am definitely ready for this new year.
I know it is a little late to wish you a happy new year. But nevertheless I do. I wish you a year that that will help you grow and help you appreciate everything this life has to offer.
As for art, I have many things in the works and will report back soon.